“That's when my fear kicked in—what if I lost my wife, and the child she was carrying? And what if I had to return to our kids and say, Mommy's not here?”
It might sound overly spiritual, or perhaps too soulful, or maybe even zen, I share as I invite him to offer his insight—as at the end of a business Zoom, I place my voice recorder to the speaker.
I live by intuition, I further explain as I reveal my motivation and purpose. And as he accepts my in-the-moment request to answer the big why I felt it fair to give him a little background.
I never know exactly what I am going to write. I just sit at the keyboard and go. Tell him how the chapters of RadstoneBLOG seem to be driven by something beyond me. That my job is to do all I can to let go of any preconceptions. To simply drop my walls, and then listen to the quiet and small voice that lives around and inside of me.
And to all of you, the many strangers-to-be-friends. I share this vulnerability in hope that somehow it honors today’s strangers-now-friend: Kyle.
“Everyone has a story and it’s not until you’re authentic, honest, and willing to expose that story, that you actually step into the plans and pursuits that God has for you: That’s the why,” Kyle begins.
Back to my earlier statement of how RadstoneBLOG seems to bridge into connected stories and seasons. A result that continues to happen the more I work to not seek a subject as I push to better trust my inner self. This season somehow becoming, although recurring, God. A topic, that for over a decade regularly returns from a diverse group of people. A finding that in the above words of Kyle, is one that just might present the power to help each of us discover our places of peace or even acceptance as the diverse humans we are. It’s that look-in-the-mirror thing I am always talking about.
I present a secondary topic: One I’ll ask as many as possible throughout March. All in celebrating the importance of International Women’s History Month.
Kyle, what are your thoughts regarding—Woman?
“Wow! There are so many things I could say,” he pauses.” Thoughtful and caring as he personalizes his answer.
“‘Last Friday at 1:00 in the afternoon, I was finishing up training in our mastermind group for podcasters. We were talking about mission, values, and strategies. It was a Zoom meeting, and I had 30 seconds to go when my door opened—it was my wife.
Tears coming down her face. She was rocking from side to side and then collapsed. I ended the meeting as my wife said, ‘something is wrong, this is not normal.’
She was two months pregnant and she could feel chest pain. She could feel shortness of breath. I’m a trained EMT with twelve years of experience. So I went through all the questions I knew to ask, and it wasn’t panning out well.
So I said, okay, let’s go to the E.R. Now!
Mind you, I was in a corporate hospital job with really good insurance, and when I moved to podcasting and marketing, I had not yet found the right provider for insurance. The fears of financial pressure were there. But I was looking at my wife and asking myself, who are you speaking to? Myself to put a financial constraint on the health of my best friend, my bride, and mother of a fourth child growing inside her?
We rushed to the E.R. They did every single test you can imagine, and we found it was extreme dehydration.
“That’s when my fear kicked in—what if I lost my wife, and the child she was carrying? And what if I had to return to our kids and say, Mommy’s not here?”
So, If we’re talking about women, and how important and strengthening a woman is to a man; especially in a marriage, and in a parenting relationship—truly everything else disappears and stops. I saw the truth as all else faded away.
I asked myself, who else is there with me? It was one of those inspiring moments where I knew I would do anything for her. Even lay down my own life to see that the woman I love was okay. And I’m thankful to God that she is okay.'”
After hearing Kyle so lovingly speak of his wife, I am inspired to reexamine my priorities. Even to ask all of you to look within as you inventory your relationships with those closest to you—regardless of culture, attraction, or any of the categories the world is placing on us.
For no matter who you, I, or they are—and beyond the profiles and identifiers we are now learning of—there is one bonding truth. We all have those we love, and we all have an equal right to feel safe in those relationships.
And in Kyle’s most vulnerable story, my wishes are that we all do our part in grasping the baton he is offering.
“I’ll add this as a comic relief to it.” Kyle amends. “‘When I told our kids we were taking mommy to the hospital, they broke down crying. Because we threaten our kids if they’re doing something extremely dangerous. We say, ‘you know, please get down, or don’t do that, or else you might have to go to the hospital.’ Well, we were actually taking my wife to the hospital, and they thought the world was ending.
That’s when my fear kicked in—what if I lost my wife, and the child she was carrying? And what if I had to return to our kids and say, Mommy’s not here?
So, this mental warfare at the same time of trying to be a strong pillar was such a battle. But that is the place where we get to the core of humanness, and being able to just step outside of yourself and reach.
For me, it was reaching out to God and saying, you’ve got to help me with this. Because this is beyond my control. There are so many pieces that are all connected and happening at the same time, and they are circling around all over the place. So, I don’t know where this story fits.'”
I again reflect on my life. Look at the family portrait sitting on my desk. Then turning back to Kyle, I ask one more time, do you wish to add to your why?
“When life throws you a curveball,” he smiles, “don’t duck as you just might miss something. That’s a quote from a favorite movie growing up: Extreme days. Most people would not even know what the film is about. But it’s a whole bunch of buddies getting out and doing extreme sports, and the whole story pans out differently than they thought. But it’s such a good example of life.
I’ve always been someone to put my ducks in a row and real-life messes those ducks to where they’re not in a row. Yeah, that would be the only thing I add or revise to the story. Because in the living of your story when things do go sideways that you don’t plan—maybe, it’s really part of the plan.”
Kyle, thank you for your sincerity, faith, and heartfelt words—and per the plan you speak of, and for all of us to consider in the formation of our own whys, might we reflect on your council:
“Everyone has a story and it’s not until you’re authentic, honest, and willing to expose that story, that you actually step into the plans and pursuits that God has for you.”
Talk tomorrow my good friends,